I signed up for a 5K!

Keep in mind, I haven't completed a 5K since I was in high school. I only attempted one a few months ago. I was bored and dropped out when the first person in my group dropped out. Anyway, some of the women in my office are going to run the 5K next week. While I don't run, I've decided to walk the darn thing!

I've decided that I am going to be one of those people who actually walk all the time and are physically fit. I'm going to lose the freaking weight and THAT will be THAT. I'm a smart person who can conquer anything else I try. Why not this?

Why am I doing it? My Dad passed away in July. Not my worthless biological father, but my Dad. He was actually my step-dad, but he was the only person who ever really wanted to be my dad. My real father never wanted to be my dad. In the past he has told me things like: my birth was a mistake, I'm destructive, I shouldn't ever have children, and I'm a disappointment to him. So, I no longer associate with him. I spent years upon years trying to forge a relationship with him and I finally said ENOUGH.

So Dad passed away in July at the age of 61. And the truth is: he hadn't had a real life in over 10 years. He was diabetic and a kidney transplant patient and because of that, he had a bunch of other health problems. And because he passed away, I will not let his death be in vein. I will not let the same health problems take my own life. I may not live to be 100, but I certainly am NOT going to die when I'm 61 because of my weight and eating habits. I wasn't raised to make exercise a part of my life. I'm not sure why my parents missed this part of life, but they did. So I urge you, if you're reading this, please make exercise a part of your children's life. Don't let them try to figure out how to exercise when they're 32 and considered "obese" by medical standards.

So the 5K is benefitting the Voice of the Wetlands and it occurs on October 8th. I'm nervous that I won't be able to complete it. But I know that I can.

1 week down, 11 weeks to go!

Alright... We weighed in yesterday and I managed to loose 4.4 pounds forever! I'm so excited. I've been eating very low-carb. I've been trying to figure out what will work best for me to continue losing weight and keep me happy for the long-haul. I realize that this is a lifestyle change and it needs to be something that I can live with. I ordered the "Food Lover's Fat Loss Plan" and it came in yesterday. I started looking at it and it looks WEIRD. I still need to read through it more, but I think I'm sending it back. My issue with it is that I'm a picky eater. I don't like things like onions and peppers and tomatoes. Apparently those foods are down-right MAGICAL to this particular plan. I'm actually thinking of starting the Paleo Diet instead. I know a few people who do it and they are doing very well on it. Very lean, fit people who I aspire to look and feel like. I suppose if I want to look the way they look, I should eat the way they eat. I think I'm going to visit the library and see what I can find regarding Paleo today.

I've also started exercising this week. I went to Curves on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I'm also about to go this morning. I'm sore and I'm tired but I'm determined to get rid of some of this weight on my ass.

I also intend to clean out the fridge and freezer today of unhealthy foods. My husband may freak out a little. I'll keep his favorite stuff, but its gotta go...

Otherwise, I've been having a really bad week regarding all my depression from this past summer. Too much sadness in my life and I can't seem to get away from it. There are three special people in my life who all passed away within a month of each other and I can't get past it. I hope that exercising will help me deal with all of this.

I think I want to organize a food drive at work, if they don't already do that. So many needy people in the upcoming months will be hungry. I hope we can help them.

I need to find a solution to coffee in the morning. Sugar-free coffee mate is the worst and I have a feeling that I shouldn't be drinking all of that Splenda.

Oh.... If I decided to try Paleo, I can't eat cheese. What in the world do I do about that? I love cheese....

I will try to write more later once I investigate Paleo a little further and decide if it is right for me. I also need to write to a dear friend who is incarcerated. I miss him lots.

Not a bad day of eating....

But still no exercise. I woke up around 8:30, got dressed and went to work for about 11:30. Here's what I ate today:

Coffee with fat free coffee mate and 2 packs of Splenda
Fat-free Yoplait Yogurt
BLT Cobb Salad from Wendys (no tomatoes)
A Huge Coke Zero
A Slim Jim
A Packet of Peanuts
A huge stir-fry of shrimp, mushrooms, squash and broccoli from the Mongolian Grill at a Chinese Restaurant
And a reduced-fat piece of Sargento Colby-Jack cheese (60 calories)

The result: I'm hungry. I'm going to bed after I have ANOTHER glass of water.

I didn't get to exercise today, but I intend to tomorrow.

One Day In....

And I've eatten horribly already. But I expected to. And I didn't exercise. And I didn't expect to. So..... no surprises yet!

We weighed in yesterday morning and I set my goal, which is to lose 10 percent of my body weight within the 12 weeks of the contest. I truly, honestly hope that I can do it! I believe I can do it! I can do it. I can do it! I CAN DO IT!

I have to admit that I padded my weight a little by drinking as MUCH water as I could stand right before I weighed in. I also ate everything under the sun on Thursday, the least of which was 4 candy bars and about 1/4 gallon of Blue Bell ice cream. I also ate fast food twice on Thursday and had 2 huge sodas and no water. I think my body was a little bloated from all of the soda and carbonation. At least that was the plan. Here's why: I needed to motivation. I want to see the weight loss. Even if its "faux" weight loss, its still a number on a scale and it matters to me.

Here's what I ate yesterday:
Cup of coffee (with fat free Coffee Mate and 2 packs of Splenda)
Fat-free Yoplait yogurt
A plate of sliced brisket, green beans and ceasar salad from Dickey's BBQ. (with a Coke Zero)
Here's where it fell apart:
A big bowl of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla.
Then carrot and celery sticks.
Then nachos with cheese and a Dr. Pepper at the New Orleans Arena. (Went to see Cirque du Soleil.)
Then, we went to the Cheesecake Bistro where I had 2 Cokes, a bowl of penne pasta with a tomato basil cream sauce with chicken and shrimp and (WAIT FOR IT!!!!) a slice of Turtle Cheesecake.

The thing is: I planned to eat at the Cheesecake Bistro. It wasn't a surprise that I all of a sudden planned to have a salad and then lost complete control. It WILL be my last piece of cheesecake for a while, but it was completely intentional. I never get to go there and I adore the food, so I ate what I wanted and I don't feel bad about it.

I do need to do something about my well-meaning husband who likes to offer me chocolate and pizza. At least he never complains about the size of my ass... I hate men who do that to their wives.

I decided to order the Food Lover's Fat Loss Plan. I have a hard time merely "making better choices" so I think I need a strict, structured set of rules to follow until something good starts to happen. The idea of this plan is that they are supposed to teach you how to eat anything and everything while still losing fat. I think its about food combining and metabolism. We'll see. There is a 60-day money back guarantee on it.

I also went out and bought a new pair of athletic shoes this morning. My feet had been killing me and I think its because the support in my sneakers is worn out. Apparently shoes are not immune to wearing out after carrying too much weight (just like my knees.) I still think that Skechers are probably not the most reliable tennis shoes, even though my pair was over-worked and under-paid.

I got to see Dralion by Cirque du Soleil last night and I have to say that whenever I see one of those shows, my mind is flooded with so much joy and creativity that I leave feeling as though I can do ANYTHING. I hope that spills over into my weight loss endeavor.

I wish all of my competitors lots of luck and success during their journey. Its gonna be hard, but we can do it. We can do anything.

Happy Saturday. Peace.

Carb Fest 2011

We are having an "I'm Skinnier Than You Are" competition. Okay, so the challenge starts tomorrow. Its being held at work. The prize is a little bit of money, but moreso BRAGGING RIGHTS. I have been planning to (perhaps) begin to get healthy. Its hard to say exactly what level of healthy I'm going for, but I'll know it when I see it. I have many reasons to become more healthy... starting with my 15 year high school reunion coming up at the end of November. I would prefer to NOT look like a cow. I would prefer to NOT have diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, bad skin, poor stamina, knee pain, foot pain, joint pain, headaches, LARGE breasts, and every other issue known to man. I have some of these problems already and I have a feeling that many more of them are in my near future if I don't do something to correct my health (weight.) I don't have the balls to post my current weight here, right now, but it is safe to say that I could lose 100 lbs and not appear anorexic. I could lose 150 and be underweight but not die. You see what I'm getting at.... Once I lose some of the weight, I may have to courage to post my current NUMBER, but NOT NOW.

We weigh in for the first time tomorrow morning. I spent the whole day eating all of the junk food in my desk. Tonight, I sent my husband to McDonalds to buy lots of junk food for dinner. I actually told him "Back up the Jeep and have them fill it up until your debit card runs out." Who says that?

My goals:
I want to get off of injectable insulin. It sucks.

I want to be able to shop in the regular section and not the plus-size section. Yes, some of the styles are the same but most aren't. Also, when you are 5'2, you need petite clothes. You can't find petite-plus size clothes that are not designed for people with less style than Amish people.

I want to be able to RUN up the stairs at the office and not get out of breath.

I want to be able to buy a bra at Victoria's Secret again. Right now, they do not carry my size.

I do not want to have another knee surgery.


I am thinking of trying the Food Lovers' Fat Loss Diet Plan. Check it out at www.tryfoodlovers.com I have no idea what it is, but I have read about people who have tried it and have had success. I have also read that it is HARD to complete.

I am also thinking of trying Atkins again. I had success with Atkins in the past (9 years ago) when Ephedra was still on the market. I have not successfully lost any weight without Ephedra every since then. I wonder how bad I have screwed up my metabolism....

I have access to 4 gyms, plus a whole world that allows me to walk around as much as I want. I should actually try this stuff more than one time within 3 months. I have been suffering from lots of depression from a LOUSY summer. I am told that endorphins from exercise will kick depression in the ass. I hope so.

I plan to blog about the competition as much as I can. Stay tuned....